Pope Asks: When Is Christmas?

In a shocking internecine feud, the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury clashed on when Christmas Day is. Other denominations joined in, causing chaos and mayhem, with families celebrating the birth of Christ on different days, depending on their church.

One shopkeeper moaned that he wasn't sure when to start the sales. A mother-of-two said that she couldn't cook turkey, as it wouldn’t keep until Sunday for her heathen son.

A spokesman for the Greek Orthodox Church chimed into the controversy, "Ha, we were right all along, and it should be in January anyway."

A spokesman for the Christian Evangelists said, "Biblical Christianity is the only way, so that’s sometime in July." He then exposed the "Christmas decorations mafia, who have their hands on the throats of Christian civilisation."

The Muslim community, not wanting to be drawn into this sectarian, ecumenical debate, pulled back and smugly said, "No religion in the Mosque...it's all politics."