Success.

Birth, school, learn to cook, get married and have kids.

Those are the priorities of a woman according to many. I was raised in a family where being self sufficient and independent was what mattered. I earn my own money, financially support my single mother, have a great thirst for knowledge and a burning desire to change the world. Ever since I was a young girl, all I wanted to do was write. Being encouraged by my mother to follow my dreams and become someone is something I have become accustomed to.

That is exactly why I fail to understand why so many parents, even today, prevent their daughters from achieving the success they so truly deserve.

 

When I use the word success, I relate it to all aspects of life. Success in your education, success in your career, success within your marriage, an overall success in life.

Suffocate.

The truth is every parent wants their child to be successful; it’s just that some can’t break away from old habits and refuse to tackle the cultural stereo types, that, for so long, have defined them.

I’ll give you an example. A close friend of mine wanted to go to university after having received outstanding grades at college. She was refused this “privilege” by her parents, simply because she was a woman. Her brother, who had a somewhat mediocre performance in his exams, was entitled to this right and has now graduated.

Her parents had no justification for their actions apart from the timeless classic of “people will talk”.

Another example. I met a girl a few weeks ago at a mosque. She was very interested in politics and wanted to do something to help the situation in Palestine. When I asked her why she hasn’t, she simply responded with “my parents won’t allow it.” What shocked me even more was that she had to argue with her parents for nearly two hours to attend a talk at a mosque.

Why do we need women?

If we are going to stop our daughters attending mosques then what hope do we have of ever changing the way we, as Muslims, are perceived and tackling the growing problem of Islamophobia?

There are many women out there who are trying to break the barriers which prevent them from attending our mosques. What hope do they have when our women face the same barriers in their own homes?

The fight starts from within, and in order to win this fight, we need women. Successful, intelligent and active women.

Women make up half of our population. They are essential to the success of the Ummah. If we don’t allow them into the mosques, don’t allow them to gain life skills, don’t allow them to have an education, we are losing half of our talent. They need to succeed if the Ummah is to succeed.

But the unfortunate truth is that we don’t allow our daughters to succeed, instead we suffocate them.

Keeping them locked away, hiding them from the truth, not treating them equally will only lead to us losing them.

What are you doing about it?

As a parent, can you say you do everything possible to make sure their daughter is successful?

As a daughter who is suffocated, have you done everything possible to challenge the obstacles you face?

There are many women who are happy following the events I outlined at the beginning. However there are many more who, like me, have a burning desire to change the world.

If your daughter is one of them, don’t suffocate her. You are doing yourself, her and the world an injustice.

The choice is yours. Succeed or suffocate? What will you choose for them and for yourself?

“Anyone who works righteousness, MALE OR FEMALE, while believing, we will surely grant them a happy life in this world, and we will surely pay them their full recompense for their righteous works." Ch 16, verse 97